whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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What did I do last night?work

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Meow.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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i lost the game

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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