why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -16

lol a man is drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -16

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Membean

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops