a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

John Stamos.

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

DESERT

Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

tee hee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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