How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +23

when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops