You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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homework

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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