Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Shit!

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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