Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Why did the kid tell yo mama jokes to insult other kids? His mom had just committed suicide due to depression caused by the kid's bad habits.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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why does column have a letter n?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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