What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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(Put joke here)

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Black History Month

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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