Mrs. Welsh

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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