What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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Jersey Shore

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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woman's rights

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lol a man is drowning

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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