What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

Reverse psychology never fails.

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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