How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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What did the sign say at Disney World? Disney World.

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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