What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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