Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

Their, they're, there You're, your

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

That's not what she said.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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