how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

nba live 13

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

thumb_up thumb_down +25

say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops