Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whoa there

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops