Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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man boobs

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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