How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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good one jess !!

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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The 13th Amendment...

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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