What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar.....OW!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I need a good anti joke....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Does this napkin chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

thumb_up thumb_down +10

test

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops