Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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fruit salad?

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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Matt is not funny.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Fox News.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops