if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do gay people eat?? food

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops