-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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