An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops