Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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