Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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