Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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