Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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