A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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