Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops