A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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How you know when dislextic

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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