What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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