What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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