My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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