You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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