In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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