what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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