Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Cripples are lame.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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