http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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your mom.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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