Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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kk

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knock knock come in !

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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