What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Knock knock. Its open.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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your mom.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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