What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...