Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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