Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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sky silverstein

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops