Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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