Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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