Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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