A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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