Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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It's all Taggart

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Carrot fingers

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops