Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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