Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Allah walked into AK Bar

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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