Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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