What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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A gay man watches football.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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