The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops