Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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can you touch your toes? no

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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