Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Andoni was here

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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