How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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