Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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