roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Gay rights.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops