A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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