why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops