- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Cripples are lame.

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.