I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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