I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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