waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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These Jokes suck.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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