What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops