I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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salad days!

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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