Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Gustavo Andrade

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Jesus Christ

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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