Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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What do I hate? people

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops