Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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