Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops