Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops