Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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