What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops