Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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well use a tissue!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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