How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

*knock knock* i have diarrhea

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

Yellow People !!

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

Im taking a shit right now.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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