A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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