Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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