a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Women's rights

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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If life gives you lemonade.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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12 in general

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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